i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
