I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
