YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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