she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
