dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
