I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
