My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
found the other keg... it's in the tree
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
