i just had sex bonerless
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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