Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
