I'm laying in your front yard are you home
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize