so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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