he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
