would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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