dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
