Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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