remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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