Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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