it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have fence marks all over my body
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
