Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
