Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
