and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
