I wannas sexs uuuuu
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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