none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
