I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
