I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
