Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
