I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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