You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
