It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
