The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
