Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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