OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
