we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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