This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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