and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
