There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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