My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
