these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
