So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
