Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
