Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
