there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
