finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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