Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
