i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
