it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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