u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
