margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
