That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
no, he came in my armpit
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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