I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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